I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize