He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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