So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
