I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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