I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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