Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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