I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize