Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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