I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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