Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
