i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
