My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You made out with two different species that night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
