sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
