About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
