It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
