oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
