Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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