forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
