he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
