We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
