I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
