I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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