I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
