Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
