She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
