In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize