found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
