Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize