Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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