i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
