Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
