I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
