Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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