We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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