She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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