? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
