I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
