Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
