Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize