Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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