Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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