butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
