Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
