First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
