never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
