Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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