Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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