I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
