In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
