i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
