You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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