I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
