I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the day after is always just damage control
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
