i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
