I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
