Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
