Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
