Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
