i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize