That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
