what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
